I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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