this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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