I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
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