worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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