okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
