ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize