He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
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