Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
