so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
