she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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