He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
