he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
