ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
This is the high leading the old right now
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
