I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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