my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
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