You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
