my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
