You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
