so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
her vagine was all disorganized.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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