so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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