i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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