just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
He better not be in your backpack
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Success! We fucked roommates!
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