well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Randomize
