Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
