Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
