He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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