She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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