He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Dignity is for republicans.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
