We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize