She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
