dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
