My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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