batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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