i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
