You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize