I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
