he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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