Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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