the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
