It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
