I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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