So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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