No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
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