Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize