I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize