I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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