i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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