i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
