so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
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