I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
