tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
