It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
this will be a night to untag.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Randomize
