How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
