im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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