So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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