i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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