I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
