So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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