I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Randomize
