I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
