So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
