Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
