fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
