Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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