I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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