We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
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