Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
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