yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
