He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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