im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
