i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
